Can You Date a Friend's Ex?

Staff Writer - Editorials 2/4/2010

Maybe it's because Valentine's Day is just around the corner, but relationships have been on my mind… constantly. Everywhere I turn on campus I see people in love, or lust, or whatever it's called these days. Hand holding, kissing under the tree, cuddling on the bench, sexting. It's endless. And of course Valentine's Day makes it that much worse. You can't even go to the grocery store without being reminded of singles awareness day. Heart-shaped cookies, red velvet cake, red and pink candy. When will it end? Well, I guess in exactly 10 days on February 15th, when we can finally put this awful day behind us.

However, since I'm on the subject of romance, I have a question for all of you. Can you date a friend's ex? It's a question I have wrestled with for several years. One of my best friends in high school starting dating my ex-boyfriend after we graduated. Needless to say, she was not my best friend for much longer. I just couldn't get over the feeling that after my three-year relationship with this guy, she was waiting in the wings to sweep him up once we had broken up. I always questioned her loyalty after that and couldn't regain the trust.

Now, I'm not bitter enough to realize that there are varying degrees of friendships and factors that may make the situation acceptable. But, what are those situations? For instance…

  • If you've only casually dated someone for less than six months, can a friend date them after?
  • If you've been in a committed relationship with someone for more than six months, can a friend date them after?
  • If you've had a crush on someone and been vocal about it, can a friend date that person first?
  • If you've dated someone for more than a year, can a friend date them after?

Now, I'm not bitter enough to realize that there are varying degrees of friendships and factors that may make the situation acceptable. But, what are those situations? For instance…

You see where I'm going here, right? There are so many variables that it's almost too difficult to make up one's mind in one direction of another. So, I've decided to implement a "no dating a friend's ex" policy in my life to avoid any gray areas that might pop up.

What do you think?


Have your read the other Greendale Weekly articles?! Well, here's your chance!
Read the "Welcome Students" article here.
Read the "Silent Protest" article here.
Read the "Lights, Camera, Action" article here.
Read the "Psych 101" article here.
Read the "Living the Good Life" article here.
Read "The Human Being" article here.
Read the "Pumpkin Lattes and Halloween Costumes" article here.
Read the "Night Under the Stars" a Huge Success article here.
Read "The Greendale Yearly Sports Report: Debate" article here.
Read the "Green is the New Black - That's Hot" article here.
Read the "Catch Knowledge - Greendale's STD Fair" article here.
Read the "Mr. Winter's Wonderland" article here.
Read the "Who Wants to be a Journalist?" article here.
Read the "Take Risks and Try New Things" article here.
Read the "Can You Date a Friend's Ex? " article here.
Read the "Can a Student Date a Professor?" article here.
Read the "Physical Education... in Community College? " article here.
Read the "It's Family Day! " article here.
Read the "Beginner Pottery " article here.

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