Mr. Winter's Wonderland

Ho Ho Ho! Or should I say, Ha Ha Ha. The end of the fall semester here at Greendale is always the start of the wonderful winter holiday season. And who better to ring in the season than our very own jolly Mr. Winter! Keeping with the constant efforts within the public school system to remain PC, Dean Pelton has created a new non-religious icon for all of us Human Beings here at Greendale to worship.

Although Mr. Winter is a non-denominational icon, we can't help but notice his uncanny similarities to jolly ol' Saint Nick. Mr. Winter has been sighted riding around campus in a sleigh-like rickshaw being pulled by our beloved Greendale mascot posing as a sort of Rudolph. The red nose gives it away. Instead of, "Ho Ho Hos," shouts of, "Ha Ha Has," fill the corridors. But it is the flowing white beard and sack of gifts that gives it all away. Mr. Winter is nothing more than a cheap Santa Claus!

Normally, this would irritate me. Santa is a magical person and anyone who mocks his jolly demeanor for non-Christmas purposes should be ashamed. But in this case, I will let it slide. Why, you ask? Because the PC Mr. Winter is discount coupons for next semester! That's right folks, less money for the same great Greendale education.

With the economic slump we are in it is hard to find the money to buy food let alone fund an outstanding education. Dean Pelton, I mean Mr. Winter, realized this and he came to help us out. Even though we are not allowed to sit on Mr. Winter's lap or whisper our holiday wishes in his ear, he knows what we need.

So for this holiday season, go home and relax with your family. Don't worry about tuition increases or how you are going to pay for next semester because Mr. Winter has you covered. Use the holidays to worry about more important things like decorating your Christmas trees or lighting your Menorahs. In hindsight, it seems as if Mr. Winter may in fact be a little magical himself. Until next semester, Happy Holidays!