Happy 2011 Human Beings! A new year, a new semester. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and fresh start to the new year. I'm sure you all made big resolutions and have high hopes for what the year will bring. And by now, I'm sure most of you have realized how unrealistic all of them are. Why, you ask? Because you're back here, back at Greendale, reading this article. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful someone's reading it. I always think every year is going to be my last, and then here I am, reporting on the exact thing I thought I'd never have to report on again.
I'm okay with it. I'm come to a personal understanding that I'll be attending every dance Greendale hosts for the foreseeable future. And that I'll be reporting on the start of every semester from now until... well, at least until Jeff Winger is no longer a student. And then, the day Winger is no longer walking the Greendale quad, might be the day I fall into a long, deep depression and never find my creativity again.
But why dwell on the unknown, right? We should rejoice in the opportunity to take more classes, fail more exams and buy more used textbooks. I hear Professor Duncan is teaching Anthropology again this semester and promises more dioramas. I'm sure sweet little Annie Edison is holding her own pep rally in excitement. I also hear that Duncan is sober!?! Anyone care to confirm that? I can't imagine that will last, but hey; maybe it's his New Year's resolution.
On that note, I bid you all a happy, healthy and fun semester. I'm sure we're in for another action-packed few months.
It's once again that time of year. The time of year when you consume more junk food than you care to admit and get little to no sleep. And no, I'm not talking about the endless number of holiday parties I'm sure are on many of your calendars. I'm talking about finals. They seem to sneak up on me every semester. It doesn't matter how hard I work, I'm never fully prepared.
I end up locking myself into my tiny closet of an office here at the Greendale Weekly to study hour after hour, day after day. This year I even packed a suitcase with a few changes of clothes, and of course, my toothbrush. I use the shower at the gym to clean up and eat every meal in the cafeteria. And to think, I'm only taking a few classes this semester. Does your ability to retain information or take exams get worse as you age? I'm starting to feel stupid.
It's a good thing I don't have a husband, or even a dog. At least my cats are independent and my elderly next-door neighbor has been checking in on them each night - well, at least when she remembers to. Luckily I only have one more paper and an exam left to take. So, I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and more importantly, my bed.
Once I'm through with all of that nonsense, I can start to concentrate on the important things, like shopping for the holidays. I missed shopping the day after Thanksgiving, not because I was studying, but because I sleeping. In fact, I slept the entire day. I didn't think I had that much turkey, but oh well.
It looks like it's shaping up to be a mighty chilly winter here in Greendale, Colorado, so I urge you all to button up and drink a lot of hot cocoa. Okay, back to studying. Good luck on finals Human Beings. See you on the other side.
Okay, okay, I know. The homepage editor of the Gazette Journal Mirror, the "quality" publication of Greendale Community College, scooped my story. The Greendale Weekly might be a less important or established brand, but we have online presence.
I got a call that tipped me off about a blanket fort in the dorms. When I arrived at the dorm to get a look at the fort I was mistaken for a student down the hall. Everyone kept asking me to help out and make the fort bigger, stronger. Who was I to deny myself this opportunity? So I took my shoes off, went into a room, borrowed some random student's pajamas, and lent a hand.
I never thought I could have that much fun in pajamas. I guess you really do learn something new everyday. Within hours the fort was bigger than anyone could have imagined. Troy and Abed were the masterminds and architects of this unique and incredible place. The tunnels were long, the rooms unique, and the fort city was soon filled with the sounds of music and laughter. There were rules, and Troy and Abed were the keepers of peace. They policed the fort and held court as governors. I'd vote for them if they ran for student council.
Then, as the night approached, the fort city began to calm. People began to snuggle up for bed. Just as I laid my head down on a random person's pillow, I realized that I didn't live there, and yet I'd never felt more at home. The community welcomed me like I'd always been a part of it. I never wanted to leave.
Then it happened. The Gazette Journal Mirror scooped the story and leaked their paper early. Troy and Abed's worst fear had been realized. It was time to destroy the fort. They pulled the plug. One blanket at a time, the fort was destroyed. Everyone was left with only the memory of an amazing and magical place.
I'll dream of you blanket fort, and remember you always as my happy place. Rest in peace.