Another holiday means another excuse for a dance at GCC. Valentine's Day is that dark, dark day that comes but once every 365 days. In my opinion, it's simply another holiday that's manufactured to sell greeting cards and cheap boxes of generic chocolate. It's a day that makes the single people feel worse than usual and makes you stand out like a sore thumb. If you don't have a smile on your face, or a giant teddy bear in your arms, or have a bouquet of roses delivered to your office, you're made to feel lame, unloved and lonely.
So I decided to spend yet another Valentine's Day at the GCC school dance to avoid sulking. Why you ask? It's better than a night snuggling up with cats eating ice cream out of a tub when you do that the other 364 nights of the year. Okay, my life isn't that depressing, but I'm sure some of your lives are. I personally always find the GCC dances amusing. More drama happens at those dances than on an episode of "Real Housewives."
Like Britta and the lesbian kiss with Paige; Troy leaving the hot librarian for his best friend Abed; Pierce talking to himself again; and Dean Pelton in another furry costume. Oh wait, that last one didn't happen... at this dance anyway. There's never a dull moment at GCC, and for that, I welcome future Valentine's Day dances. At least I can laugh at others rather than wallow.
Jeff Winger can usually do no wrong in my eyes as you know, but even I can admit when he's gone a little too far. I consider myself to be an average-looking person, not ugly, but not runway model beautiful either. I like to think that I would have as good a chance as any of getting Jeff Winger's attention for all the right reasons. But then along came Neil, and he got Winger on a bad day. Perhaps he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, but thanks to Winger, Neil got a nickname that I'm certain he wished everyone could forget.
One innocent day, Neil was taking a sip at the water fountain to quench his thirst when Winger dubbed him "Fat Neil." From that day on, Neil was no longer just another student, he was Fat Neil - to everyone on campus. I've watched Neil get heckled in the cafeteria, in the hallway, and even in the classroom. He was sinking into a deep depression. We all saw it.
I have it on good authority that Winger grew a conscience after watching Neil fall deeper and deeper into a dark depression - for something that Winger initiated. He finally reached out to Neil, but did so under false pretenses. Winger rallied his study group, with the help of that cardigan-wearing blonde girl Annie Edison, and offered to play a game of Dungeons and Dragons with Neil.
The game, which included Chang, but not Pierce, was off to a great start until Pierce crashed the party. Frankly, had I known about the game, I would have crashed it too. Who'd want to miss out on an opportunity to role-play with Jeff Winger? Not me. Although I hear that Annie played the character "Hector the Well-Endowed." Clearly that was a mistake.
By the end of the night, Pierce sold out Jeff and told Neil that the game was more about Jeff clearing his own conscience than a friend in need, but Neil didn't seem to care. Neil thought it was the best game of D&D he ever played. So in the end, Fat Neil got the pot of the gold at the end of the rainbow. He got to role-play with Jeff Winger.
Jeff Winger was dressed as a cat this week. There's really not much more to say about that. I learned that Dean Pelton and I may have a lot more in common than I originally thought. He seemed as mesmerized by Jeff in cat ears as I was. In fact, I'm surprised I even took my eyes off Jeff Winger long enough to notice Dean Pelton's focus.
Regardless of the cat ears, Jeff Winger and his study group misfits put on an anti-drug play for local middle school students in the cafeteria this week. I hear it was all Annie Edison's idea to help save at-risk teens - how nice of her. Personally, I think she was trying to find another way to spend more time with Jeff Winger. Then again, why wouldn't she? I guess I won't fault her for that.
Pierce seemed a bit more outrageous than usual. He played the role of "Drugs" in the play, and seemed to working off his own script. By intermission, all the kids in the audience couldn't wait to get out of the cafeteria and go try drugs for themselves. Luckily, by the second half, Pierce was out as Drugs and Chang was in. The former professor was able to turn it around and get the kids to hate drugs by the end; in fact they even beat him up. Maybe this was his way of getting a certain someone's attention. Rumor has it that Shirley might be knocked up with Chang's baby.
I can't wait to see how that story turns out. Stayed tuned right here for information as it unfolds!