The potato hit the proverbial fan this week when the study group's yam science project was discovered... or what was left of it, at least. The poor potato was viciously murdered, and while the group took the forefront on the case, you can bet that I was all over this flagrant breach of security.
As a consequence, from here on out there will be an EXTREMELY strict key checkout policy, as this was really at the root (pun intended) of this whole debacle. Students will no longer be able handle such important matters; all students must report to Master Chang themselves and offer up collateral to even be considered worthy of a classroom key. Acceptable forms of payment include (but are not limited to) a hot plate, sleeping bag, ramen noodles or any other basic survival equipment.
This week, student Abed Nadir gave us an exclusive inside look at his "Dreamatorium," a space constructed for him and his roommate Troy's imaginary adventures. Here, dreams can become reality, as Abed explained in our exclusive tour. "Think this is just a room where Troy and I play dinosaurs versus riverboat gamblers together? Sure, that's how I got the construction approved, but, much like myself, the Dreamatorium has higher functions."
Abed walked to the Dreamatorium's closet and opened it, revealing an elaborately constructed labyrinth of pipes and chambers made of paper towel tubes and other found objects.
"This is the Dreamatorium's engine," Abed explained. "My thoughts are collected by this dish. Everything I know about my friends is stored here. Both are distilled by logic and recombined into objective observation." Apparently, Abed is able to simulate any of his friends and even a half-accurate Chang in over 7,000 unique situations. What appears to us as cardboard tubes and a funnel is really much, much more.
Sadly, we couldn't convince Abed to take us with him on a Dreamatorium adventure... that's a privilege reserved for close friends only. Abed's Dreamatorium certainly goes to show what talented, creative minds we have here at Greendale!
This past week, Greendale had the pleasure of welcoming Redbeard's Amusements traveling carnival, which was a great opportunity for our school to get involved in the community! Plus, a number of our own students were spotted enjoying the festivities. Hot gossip in the Greendale rumor mill: was that Jeff and Shirley spotted on a DATE together? He sure won a whole mess of stuffed animals for her; apparently, he spent over $300 at a single booth! But honestly, to us it looked like Jeff was more interested in the man behind the booth rather than Shirley herself (something doesn't add up here). And talk about an odd pair of pals, Pierce Hawthorne and ex-Spanish teacher now head of security Ben Chang himself were spotted enjoying cotton candy together and laughing it up! A new pair of BFFs, perhaps? It's about time someone gave Troy and Abed a run for their money!