The Paintball Wars
As a big believer in gun control, I have to say that I have come to dread the annual GCC paintball game. I know it's just a game, but people get really into it here. I swear, I've seen girls ready to do anything - and I mean anything! - for additional ammunition. I realize $100,000 is a lot of money, but what about your dignity?
The Black Rider issue also bugs me. I mean, have you noticed how insecure Jeff is now that there's another hottie on campus? Jeff, if you're reading this, I just want you to know that you're still the cutest guy at GCC. The Black Rider is so cheesy; I got over that whole brooding thing in high school!
The Anthropology Scandal!
This week, Shirley Bennett went into labor during Anthropology class. This however was not the only scandal that hit Mr. Duncan's class. Unnamed sources have told me some shocking news: instead of actually teaching, Mr. Duncan has been boozing and hanging out with students when he's supposed to be teaching everyone about Anthropology! The study of humanity! Is anyone else outraged?
Okay, then let me put this into perspective. If we don't have an emphasis on Anthropology in our country, students will turn into self-obsessed narcissists with no morals or values. Don't believe me? Then type in "anthro" into a Google search. The store "Anthropologie" comes up before "Anthropology!" Our students care more about fashion than culture! I blame you, Professor Duncan! For shame!
Regarding Annie's Boobs
So if any of you perverts think I'm going to be writing about Annie's chest, you can stop right now. Annie's Boobs refers to a monkey that has been wreaking havoc on the students of GCC for far too long. Just last week I noticed that my favorite pen went missing. I really, really love a good pen (yes, I know I'm strange) so I was pretty depressed. Some people like shoes or baseball cards, but for me, it's always been about office supplies.
I can't drive by an Office Depot without getting hot. Anyway, when I realized my pen was missing, naturally I went to Jeff. I know some of you may think I'd use any excuse to talk to Jeff, but in this case you'd be wrong. I was just desperate... for my pen! Not generally. Anyway, I think Jeff got the impression that I was blaming him for stealing my pen, so now I feel weird about the whole thing. Later Chang told me that he found my beloved pen in a vent (also known as Annie's Boobs' hiding place). I'm very relieved that I have my pen once more, but can we please get rid of the monkey before we lose anything else? We've already got two of Annie's boobs - do we really need a third?!
